My Best Friend
by jb-ar-love
Summary: This is the story of Steve Blade and Connor McKinley's relationship. I love them and feel like they should get more stories :3 Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Growing up, I went to Brigham Young Elementary. It was a place that molded the fine young Latter Day Saints of tomorrow. Holyoke, Colorado is a small community, everybody knows everybody. That's why, walking into class on the first day of school, I expected the usual introductions and first day of school activities. I did not expect a new kid. Ever. Everyone was surprised when we heard "Blade" before "Bohanon."

"Here!" said a cheery voice from the front of the room. All eyes were on him. He smiled at the class. The face I saw was one of the prettiest faces I'd ever seen. He had floppy blonde hair and striking green eyes, but his skin was surprisingly tan. I quickly glanced away and looked at that wall. I didn't want him to feel like "the new kid."

After finishing world's longest attendance and politely listening to Ms. Rushton talk about her dog for 10 minutes she finally told everyone to stand up and say a little something about themselves. Luckily, for everyone's sanity, "Blade" was at the beginning of the alphabet.

"Hi!" he said standing up "My name's Steven Matthew Blade, but just call me Steve," he flashed a smile and continued "I just moved here from Florida and… well, that's just about it". Everyone clapped and we went through our regular speeches, giving the appropriate reactions. Laughing and smiling at the boring speeches we've heard for years. Mine was as uneventful as the rest: "Hell, my name is Connor Rory McKinley and I tap dance." My mom had me in tap dancing since I was 4, much to my dad's disapproval. She wanted me to be "cultured."

Finally, Mrs. Rushton let us out to lunch and recess. By the time I meandered my way to the lunch room, avoiding the small crowd, I found that Steve was sitting at the small lunch table in the corner or the lunch room, by the window. He looked content though, just sitting alone. I chose to sit in my normal seat at table five near my church friends.

"Why is Steve sitting all alone?" I asked my friend Jeremy.

"Oh, everyone asked him to sit with them, but he just said 'I'm content where I am.' Whatever that's supposed to mean." He rolled his eyes and continued eating.

"Poor Steve. I wonder why he wants to sit alone." I frowned. He looked like such a nice guy. "I should go talk to him." I grabbed my lunch bag and walked over towards his table.

"Good luck!" teased my other friend Jonathan. I stuck my tongue out at him and continued on my way.

"Hello," I stood next to his table. "May I sit here?"

"Of course." he smiled at me. I wondered how a kid this nice could ever want to sit alone… Except with me... I plopped down next to him as he removed the wrapping on a cupcake.

"Connor, right?" he asked.

"Yup," I sat awkwardly while he happily munched on his sweet. "So, where are you from?"

"Orlando, in Florida. My dad's an animator for Disney." He replied as he was digging around in his lunch box.

"Disney?" I asked incredulously. He said it so calmly, like working for Disney was something everybody did.

"Yup. He's an artist. What does your dad do?" he cocked his head at me as he started on another cupcake.

"Oh, I think he's an accountant or something," I picked at my food. "Tell me more about Florida"

He smiled and talked about his home state for the rest of the lunch period. He enchanted me with tales of year-round warmth and tropical trees. The recess bell interrupted him. He grabbed his lunch box and held out his arm.

"Shall we?" he asked in a mock serious tone. I pushed my brown paper bag in the garbage and linked my arm in his

"Indeed good Sir Steven" He laughed and escorted me to the swing set, as any good gentleman would. We sat down and watched the other kids play soccer.

"So Steve," I finally asked, "Why didn't you want to sit with anyone at lunch, but when I asked you said yes?" I was dying to know.

"It's not that I didn't want to sit next to anyone," he shrugged "Everybody just kept asking me to move with them, but my seat had the best view of the forest right outside the school. It's such a dark, strange forest. I didn't feel like explaining that to total strangers." He paused and looked at me with his green eyes gazing into my blue ones; "You were the first person to want to sit there with me" He smiled at me.

"Oh" I responded simply. I didn't really know what to say. "The forest," I finally managed "It's strange to think that it's strange to you."

"Yeah, I miss seeing palm leaves." He looked back at me again "It's nice here too, though. Different."

We made idle small talk until the end of recess.

* * *

I ran through my front door. "Mother, Mother! There's a new kid at school and his name's Steve and he's from Florida and his dad works for Disney and he told me all about it!" I plopped on the couch and caught my breath.

"Well hello to you too" my mother said as she ironed our clothes. "I know about Steven. His mother came over for breakfast this morning. She's a very nice woman. Her son sounds very nice too."

"He is! We ate lunch together." I told her all about my new friend over a bowl of cereal and homework.

"Well dear, I'm glad you made a new friend. Now run along upstairs and get ready for tap." I packed my duffle bag and thought about my new friend.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the week and the one following continued in a similar manner. Steve and I would eat lunch and play on the playground. We like to swing and play on the slide. On Friday we decided to just sit under a tree on the playground. The other kids were in an intense soccer match that was always fun to watch.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" Steve asked, not paying attention to the game

"Nothing really," I responded "I have tap for 2 hours tonight and then I'm free until church on Sunday"

"Oh yeah!" Steve's face lit up "I meant to ask earlier. What church do you go to?"

"Holyoke's Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" I said immediately. To tell the truth, I was quite proud of myself. I had just finally learned how to say the whole name. Steve stared at me, literally gaping. "Is that a problem?" I asked pensively.

"It's wonderful! Nobody I knew back in Florida was a Mormon. This is going to be great! We can go to church together and everything" He looked ecstatic.

"Uh, Steve?"

"Does anybody here make fun of you for it?" He looked around suspiciously "That happened to me a lot at my old school"

"Steve. Let's think about this for a minute. What is the name of this school?"

"I dunno" he shrugged

"It's Brigham Young Elementary. As in _the_ Brigham Young who led the Mormon Church after Joseph Smith died. You understand?"

"…Not really, no"

"Ugh!" I groaned "We go to a Mormon private school! Everyone who goes here is Mormon. We study Holy Scripture for an hour after lunch. What did you think we did that for?"

"Hmm. I hadn't really thought about it. That's cool then" He smiled. I let out a small chuckle and playfully pushed him over.

"You're a dork". He sat back up with a mischievous grin on his face. Before I could run, he pounced on me and we had a good natured wrestle. Eventually, we let each other go to catch our breath.

"Hey, Connor? I don't actually pay attention during scripture. Does that make me a bad Mormon?"

"No, I mean, it'd be better if you did pay attention, but if you believe in the scripture then you'll be okay" We sat in a comfortable silence, watching our classmates finish their soccer match, which ended up tied. The recess bell rang. Steve stood up and offered me his hand. I accepted it and we ran to class, hand in hand.

* * *

That Sunday we arrived at church at the same time as usual, a half an hour early. This gave the parents time to catch up and the kids time to play. Holyoke's Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was a rather large church on top of a hill. At the bottom of the hill, there were two small play sets, a pond, and a gazebo.

I found Steve playing on the swings with some kids who looked a lot like him, probably his siblings.

"Hey!" I ran up to him, "Wanna go catch some frogs at the pond?"

"Sure!"

"I thought you were an only child?" I asked as we walked

"Yup. Those are my cousins: Cassandra, Katelyn and Jackson"

"Oh. They look a lot like you"

"Eh, I look more like my dad" He dismissed, with a wave of his hand. So how do you propose we should do this?"

We had a blast trying to figure it out. We didn't actually manage to catch any frogs, but Steve came close twice and I managed to lose my shoe in the pond scum. Luckily, Steve, being the hero that he is, managed to save it from the peat. The parents called us in a few minutes later. Our parents flipped out when they saw us.

"Steven! Connor!" Our parents said simultaneously. I'll spare you the intense lecture we got. Let's just say that Steve and I learned that having fun at church is usually a "no-no".


	3. Chapter 3

The next few months of school and church were amazing. Steve and I had other friends, sure, but we mainly stuck together. We didn't often play outside of school, except for church. Every Sunday and Wednesday, before church, we would sit near the pond, under the weeping willow, and talk.

"Connor?" Steve asked me, one Sunday morning, "Can you tell me about missionaries? My mom says I'm going to be one when I get older, but I don't really know anything about them, and you're really good at explaining church-y things like that"

"Well" I started with a smile. Thinking about my future as a successful missionary always put me in a good mood. "When we graduate from high school we're going to the Mission Control Center. That's where we learn to be missionaries. A missionary goes to a new place and teaches others about The Book of Mormon. Oh, we also get our mission companions"

"Oh, can we be mission companions?" he asks fervently "It'll be so much fun!"

"I dunno. Maybe, I guess. It's all up to the heads of the Mission Control Center. They pray to Heavenly Father and he tells them who would make the best companions and where they should go on the mission"

"Well, if that's the case, he'll put us together" Steve said in a matter-of-fact way "We're meant to be"

"Of course we are" I grabbed his hand and we walked back to the church. We were going to sneak through the Sunday school room and make our way to the main chapel, but Sister Karen, the Sunday school teacher, caught us.

"What are you boys doing?" she demanded. Her normally soft voice had become harsh and cruel. Steve's eyes got large and he gripped my hand tighter.

"Nothing, Sister. We were just making our way to chapel. I didn't think we were late yet" I explained.

"Connor McKinley and Steven Blade, this is not nothing" She ripped our hands apart, "I am very disappointed in you both. Openly sinning in church" she scoffed "Now go before you're late"

We walked to and sat through sermon in silence. Finally, Pastor Loutenstock dismissed us to Sunday school. When we walked into the room, Steve asked me "Do you know what we did wrong?"  
"Not a clue. Maybe people aren't supposed to hold hands in church?" Steve shrugged and Sister Karen started our lesson.

"Now children, today we are going to talk about sin" she glanced at Steve and I and continued. "Who can tell me the Ten Commandments?" We all raised our hands as we listed off the rules we all knew so well. If we got one right, Sister Karen gave us a piece of candy.

"But children," she warned "The bible tells of other sins than just breaking the Commandments. For instance, lying is a sin. So is greed and sloth. One sin we're going to talk about today is homosexuality. Do any of you know what that is?" We all stared at her "Children, that is when a man decides he'd rather have a husband than a wife. That, children, is very sinful. Boys and boys should not love one another. That is wrong"

Steve's cousin Cassandra raised her hand "What happens if you sin?"

For the next half hour sister Karen proceeded to tell us all about how, unless you choose to repent, you will burn in eternal fire. You will never get used to its unending pain. She told us about the torture and the other evil souls that wait there for us… I won't go into much more detail.

Finally, Sister Karen dismissed us. "It's play time. Go outside and think about your lesson"

* * *

"Steve?" I asked when we sat on the swings "Are we going to hell?"

"I dunno. You're usually better with these church-y things. It doesn't sound like it, as long as we're sorry I think". He paused. "But, I'm not sorry".

"Steve! You have to be!"

"I'm not! And I'm not going to Hell. I don't plan on dying tonight!"

"It's not that simple… You don't understand how serious this is!"

"Nope. I told you. I'm not a very good Mormon. I try but… Who knows? It might be a good thing" We sat in silence for a few minutes, swinging and pondering.

Finally, Steve stood up "We should probably head back" He turned to me, extended his hand and winked.

I stuck out my tongue, grabbed his wrist and pulled myself out of the swing. "You're a jerk" I couldn't help smiling at him though.

He smiled back "I know" We started walking back to the church building when Steve started laughing. Before I could ask him why, he kissed my cheek. I stopped dead in my tracks. He ran ahead, still laughing, and called over his shoulder "See you in Hell!"

* * *

I awoke that Monday morning, screaming my head off. My parents rushed in my room "Connor, are you alright?"

"I-I had a nightmare…" I said softly, catching my breath. My parents looked at each other and my mother stepped out of the room.

"Sit up Connor" my dad ordered politely. I did and he sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Now, what sin do you feel guilty for, son?"

I looked up at him. "How did you know I sinned?"

"Everyone's had the Hell Dream. Now, what did you do?" I looked into his eyes. All I could see was pity, no anger.

"Oh, Dad." I tried not to cry "At church Steve and I were holding hands and Sister Karen got mad and she told us all about how being gay is a sin and... and…" I held back a sob "Am I going to Hell now?"

"Connor, Connor" he soothed, "It was very wrong of Sister Karen to tell you kids about all of that. You're nowhere near old enough. You're all still young. That's not to say that it's okay for you to be holding hands with other boys. It isn't, but don't get too worked up about it. It's not like you want to marry Steve or anything" He paused "All you guys did was hold hands, right?"

I lifted my hand to where he kissed me "Nothing else too much. Just us horsing around sometimes"

"Alright. Connor, if you ever, uh, feel gay, I guess, just don't. I don't want you going back to Hell as much as you don't, so if you ever have any strange feelings, just don't feel them"

"That's a lot of don'ts" I attempted a laugh.

"You're right" he let out a small chuckle "In all seriousness though, if you ever feel something that isn't right, stop feeling it. Just turn your feelings off"

"Okay. Thanks, Dad!" I hugged him.

"No problem, kiddo. Now get ready for school."

* * *

When I walked into the classroom Steve was sitting on my desk, as usual, waiting for me. I sighed and walked over to him.

"Move Steve" I ordered… kind of "Please?"

"Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" he rolled his eyes and jumped off my desk.

"No thanks to you" I retorted and sat down.

"Is something wrong?" He finally asked. Up until that day, I don't think Steve had ever seen me upset. Especially not at him.

"Steve, you sent me to Hell last night" I looked him in the eye "On purpose. You did."

"What are you tal-"

"All right!" Ms. Rushton interrupted us "get to your seats. There are lessons to be learned"

We sat down for our lessons, which took about 80 hours. The entire time I made sure I didn't look at Steve. I was still too mad. Eventually, we were released to lunch. Even though I was mad at him, I still sat at our table. Where else was I supposed to go?

"Connor?" he asked as he sat down "What do you mean you went to Hell?"

"I had a dr- nightmare" I corrected myself "that I went to Hell. It was terrible."

"Well, what happened in it?"

"I don't remember" I quickly lied. I didn't want to get into the details. "It was just bad."

"Well. I'm sorry I sent you there." He flashed me an apologetic grin. I melted

"I'm sorry I blamed you. I would have gone any way. It's not your fault"

"Cool" he grinned and began eating his lunch.

I didn't go to Hell for the rest of 5th grade.


	4. Chapter 4

The summer between 5th and 6th grade was a hard one because Steve was gone the entire time in Orlando. All I did was go to tap and sit in my room, with my movies and books. A time or two I played with some kids from church.

Steve came back the week before school started. My mom let him come over to play the day after he got back, which was a shocker. It was strange. Steve had never actually been to my house before. My mom was really, really weird about people coming over. She had to prepare weeks in advanced for even a small lunch date. I usually went to Steve's house.

"I'm here!" he barged into my room, making me jump

"Well, hi" I got up from my desk "This is my room, as you can see"

"Your bed is huge!" he ran over and flopped himself down on my king sized mattress. I rolled my eyes.

"Hi Connor!" I poorly imitated Steve's voice "I sure missed my best friend while I was gone. Let me tell you all about my amazing time in Florida"

He laughed and rolled over to face me "Heya. Sup?"

"That was nothing close to what I said" I plopped down next to him "Didja have a good time?"

"Florida was fun. It was nice and hot" he laughed "I loved it. But, my dad has a new girlfriend named Miranda. So that kinda sucked. A lot."

"Aw. I'm sorry. Is she mean?" I asked

"Yup. She's a real bitch" he answered simply

"Steve! Don't say that word!"

"Why not?" he countered "My dad says I'm old enough to be saying what I want. And she is one. She's terrible"

I put my hand on his shoulder "I'm sorry you didn't have a good time then"

"No, no" he perked up "I did have a good time. We went to Disneyworld, like we do every year. We also went out on his speed boat. That was the best part; just the two of us on open sea"

My best friend told me all about the sea. How blue and serene it is, how the sand feels between your toes, how it smells. Everything.

"The only thing that'd make even Florida better" he continued "is if I could take you with me. It'd be me and my two favorite people, doing my favorite thing. Oh! What would be _even _better is if we were pirates!" Steve stood up on my bed and pulled me with him "Connor!" he pointed over our wooden ship "An island. There's probably treasure!"

I squinted my eyes "You're right. An island just off of... what part of the boat is this?"

"The bow"

"Right! We should go exploring there"

"Looks like we're going to have to. Ship's sinking!" He was right. There was water up to our knees. "Life raft's already lowered. We have to jump into it."

"Is it safe?" I asked nervously

"Probably not" he shrugged "Ready?"

"Ready"

Together, we risked our lives by jumping off a pirate ship and onto a small wooden raft with a thud, but we made it. I sat up on the raft as I watched the larger ship quickly sink into the sea.

"We're alive" Steve breathed a sigh of relief "We made it" After we caught our breath we paddled to the island.

"Wow…" I whispered as I got off the raft. It was exactly as he described Florida. Palm trees everywhere and the beach was littered with beautiful shells.

"Wanna swim?" without waiting for my response he jumped into the water.

"Wait!" I jumped in after him… and managed to fall on top of him. We came up from the water, gasping for breath. We looked at each other and started laughing.

"Connor! Steve! Come down for lunch!" We jumped up from our pile of blankets, still laughing, and raced downstairs for our peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches.


	5. Chapter 5

6th Grade brought a lot of changes.

**#1)** My mother had a baby. The thing is, I didn't know she was pregnant. _She_ didn't know she was pregnant. I don't know how that works. At all. But, apparently, things like that can happen. In the end though, I liked my new sister Lyna.

**#2)** 6th grade happened. You see, Holyoke is a small town. A very small town. About 700 people small. So, when it came to Middle and High Schools, our town didn't cut it. We got shipped 20 minutes to Frenchtown. I was terrified, to say the least. My old school had about 100 or so kids total. Luckily, I had Steve to lean on.

"I can't do this" I stood outside the entrance of the huge school.

"Yes you can, Connor. You can and you have to"

"Nope. I think I'll just not"

Steve groaned. We had that conversation at least 5 times on the bus ride there. "Stop being such a baby" he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in the building. "See? You're alive. Now, you have your map and schedule?" I nodded "Good. You'll be fine. I'm gonna go find my locker. See you third and fifth hour"

I only got lost a few times, though I didn't actually manage to open my locker until the 4th day. I had 2 classes, math and gym, and lunch with my best friend. So, school was tolerable at some points. I liked most of my teachers, and I managed to make a friend or two.

**#3)** Gay thoughts started popping in my head. Gym class was no help for my new found little problem. The locker room was unbearable. Every way I turned there would be a guy half-naked or full out nude. To make matters worse, that was one of the classes I had with Steve.

"Hey Con," he turned to me one day in the locker room

"Yeah?" I looked up at him. He wasn't wearing any clothes. "Steve! What the heck? Put some clothes on" I quickly averted my gaze to the ground. I could feel my face growing red.

He laughed "What's wrong? Wish you looked like this" He jumped triumphantly on the bench.

"Just get some clothes on" I grabbed his wrist and pulled him down.

He laughed again "Don't get so worked up" Another laugh "I love it when you blush. You look like a tomato" This comment was returned by me throwing my shoe at him.

Outside the locker room was no walking the park either. It sucked, because the girls could just do almost nothing and get away with it. Being a guy, I actually had to pass the ball so I didn't get picked on. And that meant physical contact. I would blush every time my arm even brushed against some other guy's.

I started getting Hell Dreams again. Every night, actually. One morning my dad heard my stifled scream.

"Connor," He stood in my doorway "You alright?"

I was going to say yes. I was going to tell him it was just a dream, not Hell related. That's what I was going to do. Instead, I broke. "No. I've been having bad thoughts. Real bad"

"What kind of thoughts?"

I just shook my head, a few tears streaming down my face. I didn't think I'd be able to say it out loud with any shred of dignity.

"Connor" he started, sounding angry "Stop crying. Seriously, these things are going to happen. I love you, but I can't just keep comforting you. You're going to have to find a way to deal with these thoughts. When you're thinking these thoughts, think of something else. Or, don't think"

"Turn it off?"

"That's right. That's what I usually do. You'll be okay now?" he turned to leave.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I will be"

And I was.


	6. Chapter 6

Turning it off was a literal gift from God. It was simple. Whenever I felt something I wasn't supposed to feel I would just think "Turn it off" Then I'd hear a little click in my head. After that? All of my problems were gone. After that click, the cute guy in my English class looked just like everybody else. I was a normal person again.

Finding out it worked for other things than just being gay was a fantastic surprise. It was very useful when I bombed my first math test.

"Alright!" Steve exclaimed when he got his paper "A C! We did good Connor"

"We did well" I corrected automatically. I liked English a lot more than Math "And what do you mean 'we'?"

"Oh, I copied you. So we" he responded matter-of-factly.

"A C?" I shook my head "Are you out of your mind? I don't get C's"

"Well I copied you, and I got a C, so look at your paper".

I looked down and flipped my paper over. 78%. _78%. _ Red marks everywhere. Tears automatically rose to my eyes. "Steve" I choked out "I don't get C's. My dad's gonna kill me"

"You cry over the littlest things" he rolled his eyes "A C. Average. You did fine. My mom's gonna be _proud_ of me"

I was going to get mad at Steve for teasing me, or cheating off me. Instead, I just tried out my new little trick, and it worked! I didn't feel sad about my test and Steve and I went off to lunch.

One thing I noticed though is that it doesn't cure me. It's more like a break because eventually, once I stopped thinking about not thinking about it, the bad thoughts came back. I'd often catch myself thinking about how nice it'd be to hold Steve's hand. It was hard to catch sometimes. It felt like a part of me, but I tried my best to keep it nice and tamed.

…

My dad was the first person to notice any change in me.

"Connor" he brought me into his office. "sit down"

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, sitting down

He laughed, but it didn't sound quite right. "Of course not. I've just… You seem happier. It doesn't sound like you've had any… bad dreams lately?"

"Nope!" I smiled "I listened to you and it worked!"

"Good" he paused "I love you son"

"I love you too, Dad"

…

The only other person to notice was Steve, of course. I had just turned off one of my more vivid thoughts while we were playing cards at his house one afternoon.

"Okay" he put his hand down and looked up at me "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" I was honestly confused.

"You keep doing that. You get really quiet and then you start talking. A lot. And smiling way too much."

"Oh…" I hadn't realized that I did that "Nothing's-"

"Don't try lying to me, Connor McKinley" he interrupted "You're a terrible liar. Besides," he added "Mormons don't lie"

I sighed. He was right. "It's just… I don't know. If I'm feeling sad or something I just like to… not feel it anymore. I like to, I guess, pretend to be happy" I explained "I'm sorry. I probably sound like a baby"

"Not at all" Steve assured me. "I'm the one who asked." He paused for a moment and then asked "What are you feeling sad about?"

"Uhm… I kinda… Let me think for a sec… I guess I just feel like my parents aren't proud of me quite yet" I quickly fabricated. It was sort of true, so that means it wasn't a lie. "It's not a huge deal though. I have it under control"

"So you just don't feel sad?" Steve cocked his head in a manner that I would have found adorable, if not for my little trick.

"Nope. I feel happy instead."

"If you insist" he shrugged and we went back to playing cards.


End file.
